i can't really say i'm excited for my birthday. this is pretty much the first time i haven't reacted a lot towards my birthday altogether, and though i've definitely mentioned it to my friends before (and joking about how i'm eternally a cringe middle school boy no matter how old i get), i can't really say i want my birthday to happen. i've pretty much had a lifelong fear of getting older and being an adult, and it's kind of weird because i was literally Just Born but the ability to no longer live in the moment i desire for simply scares me and i do not like it. i'm not sure if this derives from trauma but i'm not going to explore it here lol, i'll probably talk with my therapist about it
ok alright no more debby downer shit, time for the REAL updates: one of my cats sadly moved out and now she's living with a relative (she's fine, don't worry), life still sucks but not at the insanely fast rate my life was spiraling from previously, but my mental health is getting better slowly but surely, so everything seems to be fine now. i'm still remaining less active here since my web projects are taking way too fucking long to finish but i have been mingling around on tumblr for a while where i've been dumping my art (though i should probably make an art specific blog at some point lol). maybe one day i'll share my username but for now i don't plan to
aaaaand finally, all the media consumption. probably the earliest thing i remember consuming this month was the ace attorney trilogy, though as of right now i haven't gotten too far (i only finished the first trial in turnabout samurai, no spoilers pleaseeee). so far i really enjoy it, maya is my favorite character (shout out to the autism) and i love how fucking hilarious phoenix's character is so far. literally someone who has beaten edgeworth, The prosecutor of all time, and then goes out for a burger without elaborating. i love him
and one i actually did end up finishing was banana fish, yes i started it 5 years late (thanks to my partner who recommended it to me). i literally can't say Anything about this without accidentally spoiling something but god was it (mostly) written well, i was flabbergasted for a week after i finished it. if you're thinking of watching it though I HIGHLY IMPLORE YOU TO LOOK UP CONTENT AND TRIGGER WARNINGS, this is not a lighthearted show and is not for the faint of heart. just know i want to write about my thoughts, likes, and criticisms on it some day once i finish my current web projects
lastly, i need to finish genjitsu no yohane. i am love live trash, i love these girls so much, but i literally can't finish it with how worn out i am right now. idk why my brain does this to me since i'm aware the show ramps up in it's last few episodes. God give me strength to multitask just this once. i will not survive the fall 2023 anime avalanche
so that's pretty much it, maybe i'll make a blog post about my birthday once the month ends? hoping everyone is doing well now that fall is coming, halloween be upon ye